Did you know that I always dream and imagine what if I had the opportunity to live in my own dream house. I always wanted to do my own interior designing. No matter at which state I live in, I know for a fact that I wanted a condo or a coop living. On the holiday, I dream of mortgaging a cottage home where I can bring my family together.
The truth is, how can I dream of nailing the 1199 housing when i don't have a job. I pray to the lord for a job. A job that fits me. I don't ask for much. I just wanted to fit in into a small company where people respects each other. As my journey into this adult hood, I had trouble finding myself. All I ask god is to listen to my issues. I want a stable job with benefits. My income is in the range of a high school degree.
Sometimes I wonder if God is really listening to me. I am scared. Kevin and I made our parents suffered so much. I really wanted to changed our live style. We live by check to check , in order to survive in one of the biggest city in the entire 50 states. NYC is small but very expensive. My parents have been fighting for a spot for 2 decades in the public housing but for some reason , we never nail it. I wonder why.
I always wanted to sit by a cottage on one of my dream rocking bench , have a cup of warm tea and just talk to god. The questions I wanted to ask him are:
What are your plans for me?
Why am i going through so much suffering?
Is this part of your plan to make me go through the experiences of adult hood?
There are so much why in my questions to god.
All I asking are answer and his heart with ears to listen.
no matter how much I dream of my own place, it will never come true. I loose doubts in life.
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