After graduating from undergrad, everything turned upside down. I wasn't the girl who I used to be. I wanted to find the truth of my comfort, being in my own skin. I tend to look back in life with the decisions I made and how much I regret. I am living with Decidophobia. All my life, when god gives me the opportunities, I always had trouble choosing what would be best for me. I always ended up choosing the wrong path and this is what I fear the most about. I just wish there is a way out of this.
I sit home everything thinking back about my life. Was going to Buffalo State the right choice? Did I study the right major. I was not making any difference. I resigned from my job because instantly I hear my whisper telling me to go and find something that I am more passionate of doing. I realized that when i was doing DME, I was very happy because my brain understood the materials. I love working around people and not by myself, isolated at a different location. I picked up the skills quite fast and was able to handle helping out my peers. I wasn't able to land a full time position with them because it was through a contract assignment with a temp agency. I told myself that I needed to find some ways to get back in that field. I really enjoy it, but how?
The past two days, I went on the internet and was job hunting. I need money in order to survive , so i applied to full time, part times, per diem jobs. Anything to get myself back into the work force. At the same time, while I was working at Xincon, I hated my new position and my health wasn't going too well. I was diagnosed with Nodule Thyroid. The more I stress, the thyroid grows. I was living in my own battle. So the minute, I spoken up with the manager and shared the truth, she gave me all my unused vacation and I flew down to Jackson, TN to do a follow up visit to see Heather Meeks. The fact that i realized that her supplements that she prescribed costs a grip. The supplements were taken pre morning, breakfast, pre mid noon, lunch, and dinner, so they run out fast and it is costly. I told myself I got to do something fast.
As I mentioned why i am battling against myself. I wanted to make a difference that impact the world and can changed the lives for my family. They worked hard in all these years. They tried and tried to apply for the project housing. Years after years,we are so unlucky because we were put on the waiting list and still have not heard a word. How does people do it? My dad's nephew came to the United States and after 5 years, they got the housing. I wondered when it will be our turn?
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